ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP, PEOPLE. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS GLORIOUS INBOUND 24 WHERE YOUR BOY ZARK WAS ONLY ACTUALLY WORKING. YES, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.
PICTURE THIS: COMPANY BOOTH SETUP? DONE BY YOURS TRULY. GIVEAWAYS PLACED PERFECTLY? YUP, THAT WAS ME. YOU COULD PROBABLY SEE MY REFLECTION IN THOSE NEATLY ALIGNED WATER BOTTLES. AND THE REST OF THE "TEAM"? OH, THEY WERE BUSY DOING VERY IMPORTANT THINGS. YOU KNOW, LIKE ATTENDING VIP EVENTS, SHOWING UP LATE, AND FLEXING THEIR BADGES LIKE THEY JUST DISCOVERED FIRE.
WHILE THEY (NICOLAS, SAJEEL, NADIA, BRATISLAV) WERE OUT THERE ROAMING WITH WHO-KNOWS-WHO, GUESS WHO WAS BACK AT THE BOOTH MAKING SURE EVERYTHING DIDN’T FALL APART? THAT’S RIGHT. ZARK.
BRATISLAV, JUST ANOTHER COMPUTAN MANAGER, WAS HAPPY TO MEET NADIA, NIC, AND SAJEEL IN PERSON. HE DIDN'T EVEN MENTION ME. THAT'S WHY I HATE MANAGERS. THEY ARE ALWAYS PARTIAL ABOUT EVERYTHING. HERE'S WHAT HE HAD TO SAY WHEN I ASKED WHAT HE LIKED ABOUT INBOUND24
"We went to a ping pong bar that reminds me of American college movies. I tried the combination of sausage, cheese, and watermelon. We were driving in Sajeel's car and played some new games and ate the best chicken I had ever tasted." - BRATISLAV BRANKOVIC, JUST ANOTHER COMPUTAN MAMAGER.
DID YOU READ THAT?? WHILE I WAS WORKING AT THE BOOTH, THEY PLAYED GAMES, WENT ON A DRIVE, AND ATE THE BEST CHICKEN.
LET’S NOT FORGET THE PART WHERE THE REST OF THE CREW DECIDED TO INDULGE IN A ROUND OF DARTS AND TABLE TENNIS WHILE I, OF COURSE, CONTINUED BEING THE BACKBONE OF THE OPERATION. NOT SAYING I WOULD'VE LIKED A BREAK OR ANYTHING... BUT IT WOULD'VE BEEN NICE TO KNOW WHAT THAT PING PONG TABLE EVEN LOOKED LIKE.
SEE BRATISLAV PLAYING DARTS... MY SECRET AGENT RECORDED THEM DOING ALL THIS STUFF. THERE ARE SOME VIDEOS OF BRAT THAT I CAN'T EVEN SHARE.
HERE'S OUR FIRST-TIME INBOUNDER, NADIA SALEEM, PLAYING DARTS AND NOT DOING WHAT SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO.
THIS IS WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY ABOUT HER VISIT THIS YEAR.
LOOK WHO ARRIVED AT THE VIP PARTY WITHOUT ZARK.....
YES BOSS, ENJOY YOUR TT WHILE ZARK IS BUSY SETTING UP THE BOOTH AND INTERVIEWING ATTENDEES.
IT'S TIME FOR THAT BORING INBOUND REVIEW FROM THE BOSS, SAJEEL QURESHI HIMSELF.
"I liked spending a week with Nic, Brat, and Nadia and having big conversations about work, life, the future and of course managing the booth with them." WAIT A SECOND THERE. MANAGING THE BOOTH? MANAGING THE BOOTH? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I WAS THERE THE ENTIRE TIME. I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE EXCEPT WHEN YOU CAME TO CLICK PICTURES.
WHAT? THERE'S MORE? OH, C'MON, YOU ARE HIJACKING MY BLOG HERE. "Unlike in other years, I felt different emotions telling people about what Computan is and what Computan does. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I often referenced Brat, Nadia, and Nic in my answer how we're a group of people from all over the world with different stories and journeys. It was nice to share our story with people." YEAH, BLAH BLAH BLAH...
"I would have loved more time. 4 people from 4 continents is not something that happens every day….and the time went by way too fast." 4? 4? 4 PEOPLE? WE WERE 6.. 6 S-I-X... YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME AND GILL.. WELL, GILL IS FORGETTABLE. BUT NOT ME...
"I wish more team members could come and of course we had the unlimited budget to accommodate more team members." YEAH.. YOU COULDN'T REMEMBER THE 6 OF US NOW YOU WANT OTHERS... TALK TO MY HAND... OH WAIT... THAT'S IRONIC
NEXT TIME YOU’RE STROLLING BY A BOOTH THAT’S LOOKING SHARP AND FULLY FUNCTIONAL, KNOW THERE'S PROBABLY A ZARK OUT THERE SOMEWHERE DOING ALL THE WORK WHILE EVERYONE ELSE IS PERFECTING THEIR DART THROW AND PARTY GAME.
OH, AND DID I MENTION? WHILE EVERYONE WAS OUT PLAYING GAMES AND HAVING A BLAST, I, ZARK, TOOK IT UPON MYSELF TO INTERVIEW PEOPLE. YUP, I WAS OUT THERE GRILLING ATTENDEES WITH MY SHARP WIT AND CHARM, ASKING ALL THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS WHILE BALANCING BOOTH DUTIES. I GATHERED INSIGHTS, MADE CONNECTIONS, AND EVEN MANAGED TO MAKE A FEW PEOPLE LAUGH – ALL WHILE EVERYONE ELSE WAS BUSY BEING VIPS. MULTITASKING? YEAH, THAT’S JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF ZARK.
HERE'S ME INTERVIEWING THE PROPOSIFY GUYS. SCOTT TOWER, DIRECTOR OF SALES AT PROPOSIFY, WAS KIND ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND MY PAIN AND CONTRIBUTE TO MY INTERVIEWS.
HERE'S ME INTERVIEWING A HAPPY HAPILY TEAM. MAX COHEN, CHIEF EVANGELIST @ HAPILY WAS REALLY HAPPY TO TALK TO ME. I WAS HIS FAVORITE AT INBOUND '24. CAN'T SAY THE SAME FOR HIM, THOUGH, BECAUSE WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A THUMB WAR.
HERE'S ME INTERVIEWING MM.. MM.. I CAN'T RECALL HER NAME BECAUSE I DIDN'T LET HER FINISH WITH HER NAME...
AND HERE’S THE CHERRY ON TOP: GUESS WHOSE FACE THEY PLASTERED ALL OVER THE EVENT BANNERS? GILL BATES! YUP, SWEET OL’ GILL GOT THE SPOTLIGHT WHILE I, ZARK—THE ONE WHO DID ALL THE HEAVY LIFTING—WAS CONVENIENTLY LEFT OUT. NO MENTION OF THE REAL MVP, NO HEROIC POSES OF ZARK PROUDLY STANDING BY HIS FLAWLESS BOOTH SETUP. JUST GILL, SMILING AWAY LIKE HE HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT. BUT HEY, WHO NEEDS RECOGNITION WHEN YOU’VE GOT DARTS AND TABLE TENNIS, RIGHT?
SEE HOW I'M COVERED IN THE PICTURE, AND GILL IS THERE. I DON'T HAVE ANY EVIDENCE ON NIC BECAUSE HE WAS DRUNK IN HIS HOTEL ROOM THE ENTIRE TIME.